Know what I love about Amazon.com almost as much as the user reviews? It's the recommendation lists like these:
Let me preface this by saying I laughed throughout the entire list, and am now a dyed-in-the-wool certified fan...if there were a way for me to anonymously buy an item from the list and have it shipped to the "Outta Banksta", I would have done it. I could also fetch my charcoals and draw you a dead-on picture of this middle-aged-Outer-Banks-obsessed princess because Leesburg is literally filled to the Targets with them. You know the type, big "OBX" sticker on the back of the suburban, kinda sorta in shape and keeps trying to dress like a hip teenager for her day of shopping, kickboxing, and shuffling kids around between her 9:30 AM and 3:30 PM no-whip mochas. She'll follow a trend to the ends of the Earth, she will.
What appeals to this special type of lady? Apparently soap, hurricane literature, timekilling electronic distractions, and hideous wall art. All of the items on the list are cookie cutter trendy, with the exception of the Prada women's handbag which is quite fabulous IMHO. Let's review some of the items together:
1) TomTom GO 700 Portable GPS Navigation with Hands-Free Calling
| Outta Banksta says: | |
| "sometimes prince charming doesn't take vacation days to go along for the ride!" | |
"might also come in handy when he gets tired of working like a dog to foot the bill and you need to locate him for future alimony payments!"
2) O, The Oprah Magazine [1-year subscription]
| Outta Banksta says: | |
| "two words: FAVORITE THINGS. Like a private princess wish list" | |
"ah, the stay-at-home Bible. Even a princess has to take orders from somebody"
3) MARRIKAS 1000TC Cotton Duvet Cover Set KING-White
| Outta Banksta says: | |
| "a princess's bed should be luxurious" | |
"I agree, but you're still sleeping on the wet spot your majesty"
4) (A 3-fer) Pre de provence Gift Box with nine 25g Assorted Soaps, Breakfast Soaps, Lavender and Spearmint Shea Butter Soap
| Outta Banksta says: | |
| "a pampered princess is a happy princess" | |
"perhaps this is why I can never find a f*cking bar of soap at the Target"
But I kid because I love...if I ever find myself in the Outer Banks again, rest assured I'll keep a sharp lookout for the Jeep with the ridiculous headlight guards on it and smile knowing that there's a bona-fide princess inside ;)
