I finally took a short break to grind out the last three episodes of the Amazing Race on Tivo. Let's run through the highlights:
Most Ironic Moment - The Stinky Pinkies getting eliminated on a challenge that consists of putting together a puzzle of a naked man. This can’t be from lack of exposure…can it?
Most Horrific Visual – The rug-like shoulder hair on Barry. Stick with the sleeves, my man.
Worst Use of “MoJo” – How can a girl who looks like “Mo” not have at least 6 Italian guys climbing all over themselves looking to carry her fish around the marketplace (so to speak)? You’re a fantastic physical specimen in a country jam-packed with lotharios…work it girl!
Most Head-Scratching Exit Interview – The Stinky Pinkies claiming that at only age 22, the race has given them more experiences than most DD-cup bimbos their age. I guess most girls have to wait until their 30’s to take their bar hookup scene to Russia?
Luckiest Bastards - The Poon Hounds should be able to focus just enough to walk away with the million now that the Stinky Pinkies are gone. No more DDistractions.
Stupidest “Cool Guy” Phrase – When Poon Hound Jeremy calls Phil “Big Philly Style” at the checkpoint mat, it makes me want to reach into the TV and punch him in the mouth.
Best Relationship Dichotomy – Self-deprecating nerd Dave wiping a tear away from his eye confesses to Phil that he’s upset that he got caught up in the race and lost patience with Lori because he loves her more than anything. Compare that with “Jo” delivering the “WHAT DO YOU WANT” scream at “Mo” like a 10-year married vet. Looks like the “MoJo” t-shirts are back in the knapsacks for now. Poor Monica…all those fantastic looks and she’ll probably never have a guy treat her the way Dave treats Lori. Nerds rule!
Most Annoying Team – BJ & Tyler. They’ve got the names of Baywatch lifeguards, the look of “Jay & Silent Bob”, and the body language of rodeo clowns. But with careers like “Online Tutor” and “Filmmaker”, I have to believe these two are producing fetish porn in a rat-infested basement somewhere. Don’t ask me...it just fits.
Worst Fashion Statement – What in the world was up with that “Conan the Barbarian” leather chest thong Lake was wearing at the kayak polo event? And why did Michelle have a matching one? Did they just wrap a shoot in BJ & Tyler's basement?
Best Line In a Chick Flick – OK. This has nothing to do with the Amazing Race, but I have to throw it in. I saw “Failure to Laugh….er, Launch” last week. The movie was a complete waste, until Sarah Jessica Parker lays out a line that made me spit my Tab all over the two rows in front of me. She tells her slacker love interest, “You can either spend the rest of your life having fun. Or you can spend it with me.” Works on so many levels :)
