1) People who don't read the clues
2) Teams whose weakest link feels the immediate need to "prove their worth"
3) Old people who are more or less sightseeing before they die
I did enjoy the new twist where one team gets immediately eliminated off of the starting line. I was happy to see that the team eliminated was the one I really didn't want to get to know...a pair of tattooed yoga instructors that looked like they were stuffed full of annoying comments and personality. Gone before they even got in a single yoga pose! They did put a great spin on their elimination though, saying that they "freed the other teams from the humiliation of being the first team eliminated". So thoughtful! They can lead my bayonette charge any day ;)
Yoga has prepared our bodies and minds for imminent failure!
After that, we caught a glimpse of a few standout teams:
The Globetrotters - "Flight Time" and "Big Easy" look to be odds on favorites and easily the most likeable team. They claim they're the best looking team to ever run the race. That may be true, but only until Kevin & I get there (code names "Spite Time" and "Big Greasy").
The Interracial Couple - She's a former Miss America and aspiring singer, and he's a white guy. He says that they're out to prove that an interracial couple can be successful in the race. I think he'd better not let her get a good look at "Flight Time" and "Big Easy"!
Mika & Canaan - The requisite Christian "purity" couple. I almost spit my beer all over the couch when Mika claimed that Canaan isn't interested in pursuing her for sex, and that he focuses on the other things in their relationship. I'm not sure anyone has told him that though...on their CBS website profile he listed his favorite activities to do with her as "writing songs and making out". To quote Lady GaGa, I believe someone is "bluffin' with her muffin'"!
Lance & Keri - Engaged couple from Boston that should hang around long enough to head to the printers and cancel the invitations. He just can't stop talking about how great he is. She's one of those unfortunate girls who's heard it so much she's actually started believing it (as she said in the intro interview, "he's so smaahht"). Oldest trick in the douchebag handbook, my dear.
Garrett & Jessica - The usual troubled couple trying to figure out if they should get engaged and using the race as a relationship litmus. My favorite moment was when she was losing control of herself while trying to herd ducks in a Vietnamese mud-field, and Garrett turns to the camera and says that Jessica's biggest problem is that "she can't handle it when things aren't going her way". In other words, she's a girl. *Sigh* Don't they know that the secret to a happy relationship is to spend as little time as possible interacting with each other? And when you do, it better be spent doing activities that are absolutely devoid of external stress? All you're ever going to figure out by spending 3 weeks racing around foreign countries is that you're wrong for each other. So very wrong. *Sniff* I'll miss these two!
Maria & Tiffany - Where to start with these ladies? How about with their hook. They're professional poker players, and supposedly two of the more successful current female players (from my research, that translates to 17th and 38th place respectively). According to the CBS website, Tiffany is known on the circuit by her male counterparts as "Hot Chips" (which I think narrowly beat out "Poker Tits"). She and Maria believe that their poker skills will translate well to the race. OK, I'll bite. So from what I've seen on ESPN, a poker player needs a few basic traits to succeed:
1) The ability to count - Maria & Tiffany were supposed to arrive at the first checkpoint in Japan with 20 tourists, but only brought 18. OK, moving on...
2) The ability to read people - Tiffany remarks in a cab that they can gain a great tactical advantage by flirting with the team of hot guys...who are hiding the fact that they're actually gay (better not let them get a good look at Cheyne!). OK, moving on...
3) A strategic mind - Maria & Tiffany decide to not reveal that they're wealthy poker celebrities, and instead tell everyone that they work at a Los Angeles homeless shelter in an attempt to make other teams feel more sympathy towards them. Their cover is blown within 15 minutes as they're made by a fellow passenger in the airport. OK, moving on...
4) Blind, dumb luck - As they hit the checkpoint mat dead last in Tokyo, Phil looks at them and says "the good news is that this is a non-elimination leg". Ah, now I'm beginning to see why these ladies have been so successful at poker!
Another great season is underway! And the Galoot is officially on board!
