Amazing Race All-Stars Finale (or "Everything's better with Midgets")

It should come as no surprise that Eric & Danielle "secretly" broke up in the middle of the race on their way to winning it. My body language experts tell me that this is the exact moment where it happened...the one where Danielle wants to spend their race money on a cappucino and Eric questions the wisdom of that move with $1 million at stake using every ounce of his smarmy "how can you be that stupid?" demeanor that women just can't get enough of. The only thing missing from this scene is a marriage counselor facing them in a recliner sipping on a cappucino:


Eric then spends the rest of the race trying to figure out how to work his way into that "Beauty Queen Sandwich" that was being applied to Mirna, but will likely have to settle for Jeremy...who seemed a little too excited that Eric had won half a million dollars. "We're rich" indeed ;) Will somebody please get those two a Chihuahua?

But Eric & Danielle's issues weren't the reason that Amazing Race All-Stars was so great. And no, it wasn't laughing in the face of yet another failed attempt by the beauty queens to prove that they can accomplish anything as long as they're dressed exactly alike. Or even hating on Rob & Amber, the Detroit Pistons of reality television. The true genius of the show is that they realize what every great entertainer since P.T. Barnum has understood. Midgets doing anything is worth watching. Here's just a sample of the few things you can improve with the presence of a few judiciously placed little people:

Car Shows:


Airplane Pulls:
Costume Parties:

And, of course, Million Dollar Races Around the Globe:

Ah, Amazing Race....my nielsen rating is yours forever ;)