Thursday, March 09, 2006

The Amazing Race 9 - Episode 2 (3/7)

Oh, the humanity! Glamazons, I hardly knew ye. Now I guess I'll never get to find out the answer to my burning question…"If the Glamazons were the last females left in the race, would the Poon Hounds resort to chasing them around?" My guess would be yes, but it might take a blood alcohol level north of .2. In the meantime, it sure is fun watching them mouth off like a couple of Spring Break rejects. I'll have to recalibrate my prediction on them winning the race since their cockiness and obvious Achilles' heel is sure to overtake their physical advantage in the grandest "Tortoise and the Hare" sense. They'd better figure out how to regain a little focus…if they lose that million, they've only got a "Survivor" audition standing between them and a life of shuttling spinach queso dip at the Don Pablo's.

I'm keeping a close eye on Lake, who looks like he's primed to explode once the straggling teams are gone…their bio on the CBS site lays out the recipe for disaster in three paragraphs:

Lake & Michelle are a close-knit married couple from Hattiesburg, Mississippi. They met as freshmen in college and have been married for 13 years.

Lake is a dentist who has limited traveling experience outside of the United States. While he describes himself as energetic and motivated, Michelle notes that he's your typical Type A personality, very impatient and always looking for ways to do it better.

Michelle is a stay-at-home mother of three who works part-time in Lake's office. She claims that she's much more laid back than her husband and hopes this won't cause friction between the two while taking part on THE AMAZING RACE. Michelle sees herself as being loyal, kind and loving and is running the Race to prove to herself and Lake that she's capable of accomplishing things.

At 36 she's just now trying to prove that she's capable of accomplishing things? Where's she been…in the arcade?

On a closing note, I also like the mother/daughter team where the daughter has a little Jessica Alba thing going on. The girl's smart to travel with her Mom…nothing will keep the 'ol Poon Hounds at bay like the visible threat of a potential mother-in-law (unless they think they can score with her too, of course…not sure I'd put that line of thinking past those two).

The Amazing Race 9 - Episode 1 (2/28)

Greetings Amazing Race fans! Been awhile, so thought I'd take timeout from my busy day of sleeping through mass meetings and offer up some unsolicited observations on the new season.

So, I was reeled in by the "Glamazons"…partly because their name brought back wistful memories of the G.L.O.W. girls of the 80's (that’s "Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling" for you highbrow types), and partly because they're still pulling out the ol' bedazzler in their mid-40's and thinking that it's "glamorous". I'm sure they're wowing 'em at the Safeway.

I'm delighted that the "lifelong friends" took an early bow. I definitely like my gays with a sinister streak (ie: Chip & Reichen or Joe & Bill). Also amusing were this year's rendition of the prom queens (whom I've affectionately dubbed the "stinky pinkies") and I look forward to watching them get chased around by the jobless 2% body fat frat boy poon hounds (and future race champions).

And where to begin with "Mo Jo". I knew there was a 0% chance they were married when I saw him actually wearing that t-shirt she made for him…you know, the one where she taped "Team Mo Jo" on the front with "Jo" on the back with blue masking tape. If that was all that was in my backpack, it's a lock you'd see me running around Buenos Aires shirtless for the next hour. But the most priceless moment was when Jo looked at Mo and said "Are you seriously going to start crying now?" Bad news for Jo, but good news for Moi…the magic is back!

Oh, and one final blast from the AR past. This morning on CBS they had Boston Rob and Amber do a needless segment where they babysit for a couple that hasn't been on a date in like 8 years. They load up the kids with pizza and soda and get them all wound up so they're literally bouncing off the walls by bedtime…at which point, Rob smirks at the camera and says "That's the beauty of it, pretty soon the parents will be home and we won't have to deal with it." I think I speak for all parents when I say, "Thanks...jackass". Ah well, he left it with "Amber and I want kids eventually, but right now we're just enjoying being newlyweds." Tick-tock ;)